Many senior lawyers experience a surprising phenomenon: hitting a major career goal, only to feel unfulfilled. According to psychotherapist Austin Dowling, this is a common issue, though rarely discussed openly. Whether due to mid-career burnout, genuine dissatisfaction, or something else, it’s essential to understand why one’s motivational machinery is out of sync.
Research suggests that the anticipation of a reward is a stronger experience than the satisfaction derived from the reward itself. This internal motivation script pushes individuals forward from one goal to the next, promising a glittering prize that never quite meets the experience they had anticipated. Feeling let down is a natural consequence of this script.
Understanding the Loss of Motivation
A client of Austin Dowling’s, Alan, spent several intense years working toward the title of Deputy General Counsel. When the appointment was announced, he waited for relief and found almost nothing. He described it as one of the flattest days of his career. This loss of motivation can be particularly disconcerting for lawyers, as the sequential pursuit of well-defined career goals is a hallmark of the profession.
The brain handles goals in a way that creates a psychological cycle of anticipation and dissatisfaction. This cycle is useful, as it keeps individuals moving and adapting, but sometimes it slows or stops altogether. When the experience of achieving a goal doesn’t live up to the imagined outcome, the brain responds by reaching for the next goal, creating a mental scam in which the anticipation of the next goal is used to pay off the emotional debt of the current exhaustion.
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Mid Career Blues Set In
At mid-career, many individuals have achieved some or all of their initial goals, such as advancement to partnership, more money, expertise, or recognition. And then what? This is where people can get blindsided, as they may not have considered what happens psychologically once they are successful.
Reevaluating Ambition
One approach to addressing this issue is to understand the personality of one’s ambition. Ambition has its own character, fueled by factors such as curiosity, a need for mental stimulation, or a need to keep learning and growing. For others, the drive is to attain an external status that can bolster self-esteem. Usually, ambition is a blend of several of these factors.
E. Tory Higgins describes two distinct orientations: promotion, a concern with growth and accomplishment, and prevention, a concern with safety and avoiding loss. Understanding what is in the mix will help identify the fuel one’s ambition needs to keep moving forward. By spending time reflecting on which goals would energize them now, individuals can begin to identify the gap between the life they are living and their deeper unconscious parts.
A good starting point is to identify and celebrate the goals already achieved, and to consider how one has changed since achieving them. Research on “effective forecasting” found that people overestimate how intensely and how long future events will move them. Testing the impact imagined against what one really feels can help individuals understand what drives them.
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Ambition and Personal Values
It’s also essential to notice whether a goal draws on one’s own interests or on external markers such as wealth, image, and status. Research links weighting external markers more heavily than personal markers such as personal growth, close relationships, and contribution to dissatisfaction and lower wellbeing. By understanding what fuels their ambition, individuals can begin to make decisions that align with their actual values.
Many senior lawyers spend decades becoming successful, only to realize they have become highly skilled at being the version of themselves everyone else needed. Authenticity doesn’t mean saying whatever comes to mind, but rather making decisions gradually more consistent with one’s actual values, even when that’s not universally popular.
Having somewhere to untangle what motivates them, what derails them, and which strengths served them brilliantly at one stage but no longer fit, matters more as the stakes get higher. Whether it is a trusted friend, mentor, therapist, or a journal, having a support system can help individuals figure out what nutrients their sense of ambition is lacking. A client of Austin Dowling’s found that journaling helped him understand what was driving his dissatisfaction, and what he needed to move forward.
Redefining Success and Fulfillment
Disillusionment isn’t evidence that one has chosen the wrong path. Rather, it’s critical information that can help individuals redefine what success means to them. By being open to exploring what comes next and allowing themselves to course correct, individuals can find a more fulfilling path. As Austin Dowling notes, the real challenge of success may not be achieving it, but rather allowing oneself to keep redefining what it means.
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By doing so, individuals can find a more authentic and fulfilling path, one that is driven by their own interests and goals, rather than external markers. The point isn’t necessarily to come away with a five-year plan, but rather to understand what drives them, and what they need to move forward.
Austin Dowling’s client, Alan, eventually found that he needed to reevaluate his goals and values, and to find a new sense of purpose. Through this process, he was able to find a more fulfilling path, one that aligned with his actual values and interests.
By doing so, individuals can discover new sources of motivation and drive.